Friday, December 26, 2003

Wow, fresh-fallen snow is beautiful, there's no doubt about it. It covers everything in a clean blanket of white and the world surrounding looks so pure. It reflects so much light making even the late night seem bright. I can't wait until tomorrow to build forts and snowmen, throw snowballs, and just enjoy the newly-fallen "moisture." ;)

Here's hoping ya'll had a Merry Christmas and here's to a Happy New Year!

Sunday, December 14, 2003

When I was five, my best friend's name was Jeremy. He was a fun kid and only lived a house away from me. We were "thick as thieves" we were. The only downside of our friendship was that I was mortally afraid of Jeremy's dad.
Jeremy's dad (JOHN) was a strict man and his dark hair and eyes made him look fierce. He worked graveyard shifts at a local grocery store and slept during the day. This made him like an enormous bear, always hibernating. And we were always so careful not to wake him lest we suffer the wrath.
One day, I was playing with Jeremy on the second floor of his house and went to use the bathroom. When I came out, Jeremy was gone. After searching the whole upperstairs, I descended into the basement and happened upon Jeremy's dad chillin' in his underwear, watching TV. Timidly I approached him from behind and asked him where Jeremy went, startled he turned toward me and, in a not-to-be-used with a five-year-old tone, basically told me something that equated, "get out!" I ran from the house in tears and later found out that Jeremy had gone to his grandma's. Anyhow, their family moved away shortly after...

Anyway, flash forward 20 years (Friday!)...I walk into a Macey's and see a man who looks more than vaguely familiar. His dark shock of hair bobs up and down as he stocks shelves. "No, it can't be," I think to myself. As I walk by, I glance at the name tag on his red apron and "JOHN" reads out legible and clear. I take another glance before walking into the bakery section and his and my gaze catch for a moment; an instant moment of mutual recognition...memories of being chased out of Jeremy's basement come flying back to me and for a moment I start to get nervous.

Then I think to myself, "why?" and walk to the frozen food section.

I didn't think that moving home after living away for 6 years would bring so many encounters with my past. Life is funny.

Sunday, December 07, 2003

I took the LSAT on Saturday and...
it was the singlemost worst testing experience of my whole life. It wasn't so much the fact the length of the testing time, I mean, it's a short one compared to the CPA exam. But, I'm a nervous individual. I'm paranoid even. If I'm walking down the street alone, and a car pulls up behind me, until it passes I'm certain that the people in that car are somehow aiming to "get me." I'm seriously just waiting to hear the sound of the car stopping and I brace myself for an attack. The world of timed testing isn't much better. I mull over every question, wondering about its degree of trickiness. Even when I think I've got the right answer I second quess myself and end up losing time really trying to reason whether or not I've got it right. And then when I come to the REALLY tricky questions, I get discouraged before I've even attempted and fret, thus causing myself to lose more time AND THE LSAT IS ALL ABOUT TIME! and by then I'm convinced that I've totally bombed the test.
ANYHOW...it's done.
And in all actuality, regardless if I ever even set foot in a law school in my life, I'm really glad that I took the test. It seems like whenever we attempt to do something difficult, whether we win or lose, we always grow in the process...
Here's to challenges!

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

I really feel outta touch with my whole blogging situation and I apologize to those of you who actually give a rat's ...

So, here's a quick list of lessons learned in the past week...

A 16 hour round trip in a cramped back seat next to Patrick "the heater" Farrington has both its pros and cons.
Wyoming houses the strangest people in the nation.
When all is said and done, fast food is utterly disgusting.
"Ultimate" croquet beats regular croquet hands down.
A matress = a good night's sleep.
Thinking about big standardized acceptance tests less does not make them go away.
All play and no work makes Jack an indolent boy.
Washing your hands frequently prevents many a vicious stomach malady.
A degree in "Media Arts Studies" may not be worth squat in the real world, but it sure goes well at parties!

I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving...via con Dios mis amigos...

Thursday, November 20, 2003

To my faithful reader(s),
Sorry about copping out and posting song lyrics with no commentary/story attached.

I like this song mostly because it is catchy. I don't know what Anthony is talking about. I don't understand the lyrics of most Chili Pepper songs but, The Zephyr Song chorus speaks to me of freedom from worries and strife-be them temporary or miniscule.

On another totally unrelated note...I think that I am balding.

The End

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Last chorus of "The Zephyr Song"

Fly away on my zephyr
I feel it more than ever
And in this perfect weather
We'll find a place together

In the water where I center my emotion
All the world can pass me by
Fly away on my zephyr
We're going to live forever

By REDHOT Chili Peppers
2002 Warner Bros Records

Monday, November 10, 2003

I had a dream that I was using the Force to open a door. The door slowly began to open as I held up my hand. Then the person who was opening it on the other side stood tall in the doorway. Our eyes met for a moment and I was sort of sad...
But then, in my dream, I chuckled and thought how this would be a funny blip for a movie.

Ah, those kooky dreams...
6 hours of Stake Conference is a good thing.

I learned a lot about my stewardships in this life, drew a lot of pictures, heard a lot of excellent heart-felt testimonies, heck, I even met my old Kindergarten teacher. Needless-to-say, I came away with a lot of resolutions and a better oulook on life.

The End




Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Sometimes calamity strikes...

Today at work my computer froze and I had to "hard" reboot it. Unfortunately, this resulted in my hard drive crashing and me losing the last two and a half weeks of work. 88 hours of work down the toilet in a split second.
It wouldn't be so bad except for losing a very cool animation I did exploring enertia and friction coefficients with a blue van, a grandma in a polyester dress, and a vinyl seat... all set to the beautiful backdrop of of Fruitland, NM.

Needless to say, life goes on.

Thursday, October 30, 2003

I had a dream last night that I was smoking a pipe...

I would inhale the tobacco smoke deep into my lungs and then I would blow it out in a continuous/continual (?) stream. Sometimes the stream was thicker and longer in duration than at others. It all depended on my confidence...

Later in my dream, I approached my sister with the pipe in my mouth--expecting her to be shocked--but instead she told me that she had been a smoker all these years, in fact that it was her secret to staying thin.

How can we interpret this dream considering that I've never smoked anything in all of my 24 years?
I dunno.

And I still don't know what to be for Halloween.

Saturday, October 25, 2003

Fooling Yourself (The Angry Young Man)
Written by Tommy Shaw
Lead Vocals by Tommy Shaw

You see the world through your cynical eyes
You're a troubled young man I can tell
You've got it all in the palm of your hand
But your hand's wet with sweat and your head needs a rest

And you're fooling yourself if you don't believe it
You're kidding yourself if you don't believe it
How can you be such an angry young man
When your future looks quite bright to me
How can there be such a sinister plan
That could hide such a lamb, such a caring young man

You're fooling yourself if you don't believe it
You're kidding yourself if you don't believe it
Get up, get back on your feet
You're the one they can't beat and you know it
Come on, let's see what you've got
Just take your best shot and don't blow it

You're fooling yourself if you don't believe it
You're killing yourself if you don't believe it
Get up, get back on your feet
You're the one they can't beat and you know it
Come on, let's see what you've got
Just take your best shot and don't blow it


Sunday, October 19, 2003

Let me tell you a story about a little kid I once knew...

This little boy, let's call him Bryan, signed up to play AYSO soccer. And the way that AYSO teams are made up is by school boundaries, and for some reason Bryan's boundaries included a lot of kids who looked like they'd never even seen a soccer ball in their life before.
Well, Ryan...er...Bryan was snotty at an early age and didn't want to associate with "losers." So Bryan's mom went to the AYSO director and signed Bryan onto a team that Bryan had heard (from his soccer playing friend) was good.
Bryan enjoyed his stint on the "winning" team as it went on to an undefeated record crushing every team it played, including the team of "losers" that Bryan would've played on had his mom not given in to his demands.
Years later after all the soccer playing had ended, one thing always stuck out in Bryan's mind. When Bryan's mother told the AYSO director that Bryan wanted to switch teams the director replied, "okay, but if he stays he could really help out the team and maybe even be a star player."


What would've happened to Bryan had he stayed on that team? Would he have made a difference? Would they have even won a game? Would anyone even have cared? Who knows...but at least he would've had the chance at being a star player...

Monday, October 13, 2003

"And just when I think that things are in place, the heavens are secure, the whole thing explodes in my face."

Just Another Day - Oingo Boingo

Sometimes it's easy to feel like one has, contrary to the belief of a small minority, not Midas' touch but Bernie Hincklemeyer's touch, a touch that smears all things in aged automobile sludge.

I have recently come to the conclusion that I am my own worst enemy.

"Help me get away from myself."

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

Library ettiquette or am I just really touchy?

I like to go into the quiet study area of the Sandy library because, for obvious reasons, it's quiet. Or at least that's how it's supposed to be...

The fellow sitting next to the door breaks every single quiet room rule.
(1) He shakes his legs for the whole 3 hours that I'm in the room. I don't know if he has an itch and he relieves it by vibrating his buttocks on the chair? But this guy is an animal!
(2) He whips out an ICEE beverage and, no joke, slurps the final remaining contents loudly.
Okay, I can't remember the other quiet room rules but I know that he broke them...what an inconsiderate jerk!
So I leave the room every 30 minutes or so for a quick water break. (Plus, it's a great excuse to browse the movie titles). As I walk through the library I happen upon another kid talking full volume on a cellphone. "DID YOU READ THAT BOOK I GAVE YOU? OH? NOT YET?" I shoot him dirty side glances and think to myself, "has this world gone mad? There was a day when one could depend on the library to be a place of solace and sanctuary. Librarians ruled with an iron fist and "SHHH!" was heard if a "5-inch" whisper suddenly grew in length."

I'm thinking, after seeing "Taxi Driver" last night, that the only solution is my own brand of vigilante justice. "Hey punk on the cellphone...you talkin' to me? You must be talkin' to me because cell phones aren't allowed in the library. BANG!" I'm taking the library back!

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

Well kiddies, it's the month of October and you all know what that means...HALLOWEEN.

What better way to celebrate this fun holiday than with Halloween mood music?
I've comprised the following list of Halloween mood enhancing classics...(not in any significant order necessarily).

Weird Science - Oingo Boingo
Dead Man's Party - Oingo Boingo
Just Another Day - Oingo Boingo
No One Lives Forever - Oingo Boingo
The Killing Moon - Echo and the Bunnymen
Possum Kingdom - The Toadies
This Is Halloween - Jack Skellington (Nightmare Before Christmas Soundtrack)
Thriller - Michael Jackson
A Night on Bald Mountain - Moussorgsky
Erlkonig - Schubert
Hell - Squirrel Nut Zippers
Midnight Special - CCR
Superstition - Stevie Wonder
Just - Radiohead

Use at your own risk.


Thursday, September 25, 2003

Adventures in the Harris Fine Arts Center...

Finishing a sip from the drinking fountain, I look up to see David Morgan, my old stage combat professor. His face is now covered with a prematurely white beard. He smiles and approaches.

"So what are you up to now?"

"I live in my parent's basement."

"You're not involved with anything on 'the stage?'"

I hesitate slightly. "No."

"Aren't you dating Lindsay?" He asks and then sips from the fountain.

I shake my head, "no."

"Hmm, somebody told me that you and she were dating."

No response from me as he sips again.

"Well, good luck. Talk to you later."

"Talk to you later."

As he walked away I wondered who he thought I was.
Apparently, a stage actor in a relationship with some girl named Lindsay.

If life were only that simple...

Saturday, September 20, 2003

I don't know what to write...

Which brings to mind the question of why bothering to type then?

There were so many things that, at the very instant they happened, I wanted to write so badly but lost the fervor...the drive...the moment, when finally faced with a blank computer screen.

For instance,

I went into a 7-Eleven a month ago for a Slurpee but was chagrinned to discover that the Slurpee machines were both out of order. But to my surprise there was an actual Slurpee machine repairman, monkeying with tools, digging into the exposed innards of that glorious machine. Who knew such specialized technicians existed? I was pondering about how to type a blog that would give my experience justice, maybe alluding to how the magic of the Slurpee was somewhat destroyed after seeing the "man behind the curtain," or some junk like that, but nothing. And now, a month later, we all get to enjoy it.

I think it aged well...


Monday, September 15, 2003

"Nice drawings, Ryan."

I look up from my Sunday School doodlings to see a familiar face...where do I know this guy? shoot, it's been 5-6 years...his name is either Chris or Mike. Chris or Mike?

"Mike, right? Long time no see."

"Long time no see...what are you doing!?"

I guess he doesn't mean the drawings...
"Um, I just graduated and moved home."

Surprise and joy spreads across his face.
"Man, we thought you'd gotten married years ago because noone has heard about you forever. You were in the same category as Levi Ernst, who I guess lives somewhere in South Carolina now."

"M.I.A." I think to myself.
I don't remember who Levi Ernst is, and I tell Mike this, which leads to a lengthy discussion on "friends" from highschool who have gotten married and moved on.

"What did you graduate in?" Mike asks.

"In Film. . . from the Y."

"In film? film? We always thought that you would've gone into Engineering or something. Film, hunh."

"Oh, why?"

"Because you told us about a book you read where that physicist lied so as not to get drafted into the army."

"The physicist who worked on the atomic bomb?" Robert Feinlein? Richard...shoot, I can't remember his name.

"Yah," Mike answers.

"Oh, I like that book."

As Mike and I parted ways in the parking lot later that afternoon, I thought to myself how happy I was to have remade a friend...and how stupid I was for not majoring in Engineering.

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Here is how I spend my time...

Taken from "METAL GEAR SOLID 2: SONS OF LIBERTY" manual

"ACQUIRING DOG TAGS
Enemy soldiers can be "held up" by sneaking up behind and sticking a gun in their back. In First Person View, searching an enemy soldier's head or waist from the front while his hands are up will reveal a dog tag item box."
...
"The number of dog tags collected so far is recorded in saved game data. As more dog tags are collected, bonus elements will be added to the game."
(P40)

The biggest thrill of my day is the anticipation at learning what those bonus elements may be...

AND ALSO...

Taken from "SSX Tricky Manual"...

"UBER TRICKS
When you fill up the Adrenaline Meter, the Uber disk rotates and it's an all out trickfest for every kind of boarder. Take airborne stunts to the next level with a high-flyin', gravity defying "UBER" trick that will leave your competitors in awe."
(P17)

I guess these games and their upcoming sequels are the only things keeping me going lately...

I will find a job.

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

August is over.
It was quite the monumental month too.

I...
-graduated from college.
-explored San Francisco, Westwater, and Colorado Springs.
-got my first speeding ticket... $75....CURSES! (I'll never be a truck driver now!)
-moved into my parents basement.
-ate my weight in godfather's pizza.
-said "good-bye" to a lot of friends. (sadly)
-came to the stark realization that I have no employable skills.
-came to the stark realization that I have no life outside of Provo.
-came to the stark realization that typing "stark realization" is fun.

All I can say is that September had better be good.

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

I've got the "back from a good vacation" blues.

Time spent in the San Francisco area was great...

Crazy Chinatown
Deserted Japan Square
Fish n' Chips Fisherman's Wharf
Homeless friends in the city
Bodega Bay (we ate lunch here)
Inner-city hiking
And many roadtrip hijinks...
3 grown man singing Celine Dion at the top of their lungs
2 bags of beef jerky
and a traveling zoo in the armpit of America (Battle Mountain, NV).

I left part of my heart in SF-which part? I dunno.
Who knows if I'll ever get it back...

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

I'm done with my paper so here are some great film quotes to celebrate!


"I may not have PhD in 'feelm,' but I know what I don't like!"

--Mr. Cranky, in one of his lighter moments


"With a good script, a good director can produce a masterpiece. With the same script, a mediocre director can produce a passable film. But with a bad script even a good director can't possibly make a good film. For truly cinematic expression, the camera and the microphone must be able to cross both fire and water. The script must be something that has the power to do this."

-Akira Kurosawa


"I thought drama was when the actors cried. But drama is when the audience cries."

"There are no rules in film-making. Only sins. And the cardinal sin is dullness."

-Frank Capra


[On the ending of Stroszek (1977):] "When I saw the dancing chicken, I knew I would create a grand metaphor -- for what, I don't know."

-Werner Herzog


"Originality now is rare in the cinema and it isn't worth striving for because most work that does this is egocentric and pretentious. What is most enjoyable about the cinema is simply working with a language that is classical in the sense that the image is understood by everyone. I'm not at all interested in innovating film language, making it more aesthetic. I love film history, and you're better off learning from those who proceeded you."

-Wim Wenders


"I just made pictures I would've liked to see."

-Billy Wilder

Sunday, August 10, 2003

sakubun wo kaku no wo sakete imasu...konban kaku tsumori nan desu.

GANBAROU!

Monday, August 04, 2003

As I sat reading a Newsweek in the waiting room at the IHC Instacare in Orem, I met a friendly Latino...er...rather, he met me.

Him: "Hey buddy, do you speak Spanish?"

Me: "No."

He looks slightly disappointed.
I decide to take the cue-queue-que?

Me: "Um, I speak Japanese."

Then after a brief conversation about how it must have been hard to learn Japanese and how I must have had the Lord's help...

Him: "Do you have any brothers who speak Spanish?"

Me: "No. My brother just got back from a mission in Germany."

He looks slightly disappointed again.

Me: "But I have a lot of roommates and friends who served Spanish-speaking!"

Him: "That's great, Buddy. I have a sister who grew up in Chicago but then my mother took her back to Mexico but she's back now living with my wife and me and she's studying English and she's doing pretty good at it...so if I meet nice guys (apparently who preferrably speak Spanish) I want to try to set her up."

Me: " Oh."

Him: "Because sometimes you meet RMs who are bad guys...so I want to be sure."

Me: "Right."

Luckily shortly thereafter he was called in to see his doctor.

I wasn't sure if the fellow was just being friendly or whether he was auditioning me for the part of sister-suitor. Needless to say I was grateful to get back to Newsweek and the gripping article on following the yellocake road.

Monday, July 28, 2003

I keep having dreams that are Japan related.

I'm either speaking Japanese or hanging out with Japanese or in Japan doing all of the above. Last night I was in Thailand feeling guilty speaking Japanese to a few Japanese girls because I felt like they needed to practice their English.

Sure, I'd like to go back to Japan someday but I'm not obsessed with the idea...am I?


(dreams, dreams, dreams)

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

Today I went into the library and emptied about 3 or 4 hole punchers into a small plastic bag. The ladies at General Reference were only too happy to help and seemed to appreciate the unusual deviance from the humdrum of library life. The three "kids" behind the Music Reference desk however not only greeted me with smug remarks but wouldn't let me leave until I explained why I needed their holes. Afterward, one girl just asked why I didn't just take paper and make a ton of my own holes. I thought about it later and came to the conclusion that just going from floor to floor of the library was much, much more fun.

Friday, July 18, 2003

I don't know what my upstairs neighbor's are up to but whatever it is their timing stinks.

TUES 1:00 AM - I lie in bed awake as a rhythmic floor board creak and occasional bang let me know that it's weight lifting time.

FRI 11:30AM - After working a graveyard shift I awake to the sounds of some ambiguous hard music and jumping jacks and/or pushups and/or jump rope...the phone rings.

SUN 12:45 PM - RAP music filters out from the open sliding door of the apartment above onto my Sunday ears as I hurry to church...

24/7 - heavyset footsteps are heard traveling from one half of the apartment to the other, door slams, stairwell shudders...I catch a brief glimpse of the perpetrator through the window as he shuffles down the remaining stairs.

Okay, okay, I guess that everyone enjoys problems like these from time to time. I should be more forgiving because I am probably just as bad. And I suppose I should count my blessings because the band moved out three months ago.

Monday, July 14, 2003

Chorus from Calling You

I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleeping or you're dreaming
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?
I can't believe you actually picked me...

All lyrics by Blue October, 2003

Wednesday, July 09, 2003

Here’s how to find your closest skin type.
Type one: You burn easily, never tan, are red headed and have freckles, especially common among those of Irish, Scottish or Welsh descent.
Type two: You burn easily, but you get a minimal tan. You have fair skin and hair and blue eyes.
Type three: You sometimes burn, but can get a light brown tan. You’re dark-haired and Caucasian or Asian.
Type four: You minimally burn and usually tan to a moderate brown; more prevalent among Caucasians of Mediterranean descent or light-skinned people of African, Asian, Hispanic, Indian or Middle Eastern ancestry.
Type five: You rarely burn (lucky you!) and tan well. You are of Middle Eastern, Asian, Hispanic, Indian or African descent.
Type six: Your skin never burns and you’re sun insensitive. You are probably of African descent with deep skin pigmentation.

I found this online and was very excited to see that I am a type 2 and "most prone to photo aging (and should use sunscreen every day in all weather and seasons). "

What type are you?

Monday, July 07, 2003

It's hard to come back to the rut of everyday life after a great vacation.
After a handful of life-changing experiences, one is prone to feel like they don't quite belong here anymore.

After experiencing the following you'd probably feel the same way...

1.) Three full days at the beach (body boarding, live bands, in-line skating, volleyball, frisbee, fireworks, and sunburn)
2.) All-you-can-eat SUSHI
3.) Two nights sleeping in the same room as a snoring married couple, two other grown boys, and a very vocal one-year old whose legal name is "Champ."
4.) 1500 miles in a Ford Focus.
5.) One night spent in the car in the high desert next to I-15 expecting to be awoken by an axe-murderer for breakfast. (?)
6.) An engagement to be married on my 30th birthday.
My life will never be the same...

Tuesday, July 01, 2003

Monday, June 30, 2003

So...
My little brother came home from Germany late Thursday night. He looks exactly the same as when he left except he's a bit hairier now. I guess he's hairier than me because when He saw me with my shirt off he asked me if I shaved my chest. I laughed because..."of course I don't."
But he's also become hairier in spirit and mental capacity...he's quite grown-up is what I'm trying to say.

So...my little brother has a lot of friends. I don't know who I got to see or hear more from his friends from school and the mission or him. But nonetheless, it was good to have hang out with him even if I had to do it with his highschool buddies in tow.

So...my little brother says "so" alot. After a question he begins, "so in Germany or So, in my mission...so..." I guess it's a German language habit (like a love for chocolate and treats.)When I came home from Japan...I couldn't stop bowing over the phone. I still do it sometimes.

So... My little brother indeed did turn out to be too cool for me (just like in my dream). The only thing that didn't come true from my dream was him playing the guitar like a banjo (and the Russian midget ninjas attacking my legs).

So...vauable lessons learned this weekend..."when somebody asks you if you are a god...you say YES!"
?

The End

Sunday, June 22, 2003

I had a dream that I was in Japan last night. I think it is a sign...
I'm meant to return...

Here is a list of some things I love about Japan:
(Not necessarily in order of importance and by no means all-inclusive)
1) Dress
2) Food
3) Drink
4) Language
5) Culture

Japan is an awesome place and I will love it forever...

Thursday, June 19, 2003

Everlasting Love by Howard Jones

He wasn't looking for a pretty face
She wasn't searching for the latest style
He didn't want someone who walked straight off the TV
She needed someone with an interior smile
She wasn't looking for a cuddle in the back seat
He wasn't looking for a five minute thrill
She wasn't thinking of tomorrow or of next week
This vacancy he meant to permanently fill
CHORUS
I need an everlasting love
I need a friend and a lover divine
An everlasting precious love
Wait for it, wait for it, give it some time

Back in the world of disposable emotion
In the climate of temporary dreams
He wasn't looking for a notch on his bedpost
A love to push, pull and burst at the seams

Is this love worth waiting for
Something special, something pure
Is this love worth waiting for
Bitterness will die for sure
Something special, something pure
Is this love worth waiting for


Sorry to keep posting song lyrics but...hey, the music's been speaking to me lately...

Thursday, June 12, 2003

If a shallow, superficial person finds you attractive...Is that a compliment?

I guess it is if the shallow, superficial person is yourself.

crap....

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

This song reminds me of a certain somebody...

GREEN SHIRT by Elvis Costello
there's a smart young woman
on a light blue screen
who comes into my house
every night
she takes all the red, yellow, orange and green
and she turns them into black and white

CHORUS:
but you tease you flirt
and you shine all the buttons
on your green shirt
you can please yourself
but somebody's gonna get it


better cut off all identifying labels
before they put you on the torture table
cause somewhere in the quisling clinic
there's a short time typist taking seconds over minutes


she's listening in to the venus line
she's picking out name
I hope none of them are mine


CHORUS


never said I was a stool pigeon
I never said I was a diplomat
everybody is under suspicion
but you don't want to hear about that


CHORUS


better send the begging letter
to the big investigation
who put these fingerprints
on my imagination


CHORUS

Thursday, June 05, 2003

Let me tell you the story of three boys and their plants.

One day there were three roommates. They decided to spruce up their apartment with a little greenery. Boy #1 bought a nice healthy-looking lush plant with broad leaves. Boy #2 bought an English Ivy (he liked how it climbed). Boy #3 bought the strangest plant he could find that was still within his budget: a bromeliad. The boys had chosen plants that were as unique as they were.

The three boys returned home with their prizes and adorned the apartment with their new-found friends. But as time passed...The personalities of the boys soon showed in how they cared for their plants. Plant #1 grew verdantly in its prime location near the sunlight. After a promising start, plant #2 or "monster," as it was soon dubbed, contrary to its hastily given name, soon waned in strength and energy shedding its leaves to the point of naked sterility. Plant #3 grew like a mutant and refused to die even after its master was convinced he had stunted it after knocking it to the ground countless times.

DENOUEMENT
Plant #3 soon found its way to the trash even though it was still alive and well.
Plant #2 sits outside, it's long leafless tendrils grasping for whatever light it can get. starved
Plant #1 reigns supreme, growing green and proud in the sun.

"What is this is good for?" Absolutely nothing.

Friday, May 30, 2003

"The film business is a shallow money trench. A long, plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs." - Hunter S. Thompson.

Get busy living or get busy dying, I guess.

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

I've come to some valuable conclusions lately...
That two of my roommates are polar opposites of one another and somehow...I'm stuck in the middle.
Nice guys really do finish last...and worse than that...most wet.
Change is the only constant.
"What's love but a second hand emotion?"
"Wherever you go...there you are."

Life is great.

Thursday, May 22, 2003

I said "ciao, ciao" to somebody last night and it reminded me of a girl in Elementary school.
We used to call her "chow-chow," because her poofy hairstyle made her look like that breed of dog. Then I remembered calling another girl in junior high school "Chewbacca," because she was supposedly very hairy. Then a semi-friend of mine "went" with her.
I didn't say anything after that.

Sunday, May 18, 2003

I used to think that my blogs were funny. But after reading through most of them I've come to the conclusion that they're not.
The End.

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

Well, so far I've only managed to figure how to change the colors of my blog's template. Not as good as hyperlinks, pictures or witty entries but...hey.

Well, not much to report other than that I had a very nice Mother's Day with my family. We visited my father's parents in Salt Lake and after congregating with the family in the hot tub atrium, my grandfather told my grandmother that he wanted ice cream. My grandma said that they didn't have enough for everyone, so he'd have to go make it himself (and she volunteered my services too). Well, the only thing I've ever seen my grandfather make in his life was hot dogs and hamburgers, but with a sensibility and frugality that can only come from having survived the Great Depression, my grandfather orchestrated the most successful homemade ice cream making since...since...Martha Stewart made something...um...something homemade.



Monday, May 05, 2003

Well, I've been blogging with you for a little while now and I quite like the experience...

My only complaint is that my blog's aesthetic design is still quite "lacking." This is very much my own fault because I know nothing about editing my template.
If you can give me any practical hints and/or programming tips, I'd very much appreciate it. We'll tackle that slope together...Are you with me?

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

"What makes the monkey dance?"

I think it's a valuable question that deserves our thought and attention.

-fleas could do the trick. The dance could just be an ellaborate stratching session misunderstood.

- It could be bananas. Food is a very powerful motivator. I've done more than dance for something less than a banana. But, I'm not a monkey...let alone THE monkey...so maybe not... Monkeys might be smarter than that.

- Maybe money makes the monkey dance... Money is quite the source of power. You can buy almost anything with money (not love though, of course). But the monkey would probably just eat the money - because he doesn't understand the concept of paper currency. "It's a bit like the mule with a spinning wheel. Darned if we know where he got it and darned if he knows how to use it."..or something like that. (See "The Simpsons" Monorail episode)

- Maybe female monkeys make him dance. This is the most likely scenario I think. If I were a monkey and I saw a hot girl monkey, I think that I would start doing my little monkey dance to show her what a great monkey "catch" I was.

Well, a lot of evidence has been presented here. I don't claim to know all the answers and maybe we have only just scratched the surface of this important question. But I hope this has helped you come to your own conclusions on "what makes the monkey dance?" In conclusion, I'd just like to emphasize that like most philosophical discussions the only answer that matters in the end---is your own.

Sunday, April 27, 2003

well, it was a good weekend...and when all is said and done, I must admit I learned a lot...

First of all...
I learned that my grandfather thinks I'm still Patrick's age (or younger) and can't finish my plate. At Market Street Grill he was very impressed that I not only finished my own meal but also some of my grandmother's... (yum...halibut and baja fish tacos....)

Second...
I learned that "Porn" means beautiful in Thai. (I wonder how they distinguish between "beauty" and pictures of naked people in erotic poses...maybe thy think nudes in erotic poses are beautiful...hmmmmmmmm)

Third...
I learned that my friends don't listen...

You can tell everyone you know that you are going to walk in commencement and convocation ceremonies and that your family is flying in for the weekend and you'll probably be spending most of the weekend with them and then when you show up for church on Sunday they'll still all ask you -almost in unision- "Where were you?"

So, to cap off all of the book learning this semester was some nice lessons from the school of hard knocks...

When can I graduate from that school? Soon I hope.

Monday, April 21, 2003

Oh...I just remembered more fun details of the day to share...

Book buybacks stink. I couldn't sell back my Mythology book marked by thick Feminist rhetoric because a new edition is coming out...Sheesh. I was offered 3 dollars for a book but even the teller knew I wouldn't fall for that trick and set the book aside.

I went in expecting a return of over 35 dollars and came out with $8.

As I ate my cheeseburger and frenchfries...I couldn't help think that an hour ago it was a dry book about symbolism in fairytales.

MaX Luthi...eat your heart out.
So, I didn't go to sleep last night. That's right. I stayed up all night. What's that? because of finals, you ask? No.
Well, I mean, I did have a final- a take-home final at that- but I finished writing it about 4:45am, leaving me plenty of time to sleep before its 10am deadline. But did I sleep? NO.

It's great feeling almost being done with finals...(and with school for that matter).
But things turn all funny and strange when you haven't slept. I've started hallucinating, even hearing things.
Today in my delusions of grandeur, I thought I heard someone say that they heard a professor say that I was "articulate." That is absurd.
The only reason I could make of this was that I must have dreamt it as I lay on the carpet in the post-production sound room trying to take a nap.

Well, so, um, I haven't got much for you, but if my hallucinations continue to be this complimentary I may never go to sleep again.
And I suppose that if nothing else, in the words of my dear friends, you could always tell this story to kids who are thinking about using drugs.

Peace.

Friday, April 18, 2003

I need a change of pace (turtle speed isn't going to get me there soon enough)
a change of scenery (I don't want to watch strangers enjoying the pool anymore-I don't want to hear them EITHER!)
a change in diet (no more frozen pizzas....PLEASE!)
a change in habit (why are all of my favorite television shows on after midnight?)

argh...finals.

Monday, April 14, 2003

What's the deal with old people and buffets?
KFC-all you can eat buffet, Home Buffet, and Chuck-O-Rama. Our elderly love these places...And I'd really like to know why!

The food at these places isn't spectacular; just meat and potatoes really. It's all stuff you can make for yourself at home.
Are our elderly friends just excited to see so much food that they didn't have to prepare themselves? After a lifetime of making food for yourself and your family, seeing mountains of green jello and pot roast would be heaven. I guess the great satisfaction lies in eating familiar food but not having to cook it or clean up after it.
But is that why they are really there?

Maybe sitting down amongst strangers stuffing their faces with said meat and potatoes, our elders see the memories of fifty Thanksgivings gone by. In the green Jell-O they see reflected their youngest daughter's second marriage wedding reception. Eating the potato salad reminds them of easier times, times when little boys could frolic in a field shooting wild cats with BB guns...In the eyes of the workers who are clapping out the birthday while totting soft-serve ice cream from a machine that is self-service they see a vigor and a hope of a youthful generation that has passed them by. Then they sit there and eat and think...and it's like a Norman Rockwell painting really, or something.

Maybe this is why they love these buffets so...
But perhaps we'll never know...

(er, at least for another 45 years or so...)

Thursday, April 10, 2003

Last night on MTV's Dismissed the unthinkable-nay-the unbelievable happened.

Good morals were presented, reinforced and ultimately endorsed...
Now, I just happened upon this television show as I was skipping through the channels because-uh- I NEVER watch MTV, or VH1 or any of that soft-core garbage...(heh-heh). But, if you're not familiar with the premise of the show, they send two boys on a date with one girl and both boys fight over the girl and then she chooses who she'd like to date (the first half of the show is a boy choosing between two girls). Anyway, one of the boys was trying to play up his supposed "Cassanova" bad-boy image. He was exagerrating his sexual exploits and trying to appear wild for the girl.
However, the other boy stood up for his values on cable television. He spoke out against smoking and drinking but not in a preacherly way. He wasn't interested in pre-marital sex. And he was honest, upfront, and sincere with the girl. She asked him if it would bother him to date someone who wasn't a virgin and his answer impressed me greatly...he said, "I don't think that it's so much where you have been...but the direction in which you're currently heading."
The girl, who's morals up until meeting this young man may have been greatly influenced by the lifestyle that MTV seems to promote, was impressed and ended up choosing the kid who stood up for good."
I hoped that the thousands of teenagers watching took note and were influenced for good. I
It was a poignant reminder to me to stand up for my beliefs whatever situation I'm in and to not fear the voice of man.

Perhaps MTV isn't as bad as I thought...

Or, perhaps not.

Saturday, April 05, 2003

What makes me enjoy a film like "The Last Dragon"?

Probably its direct lack of any cinematic value....

And its kickin' score.

"Who's the master?"

The answer is in that fortune cookie, man.

Wednesday, April 02, 2003

Last night as i walked home from class I couldn't help notice the beauty of Spring.
The cherry blossoms were in full bloom, and the night's cool breeze gently stirred their scent, reminding me of Japan.
I could almost see red lanterns dangling inbetween the flowering branches, casting a red glow on the path home.

The only thing that was missing was a billion drunk business men enjoying beer underneath the pink canopy.

Ahhhh Spring!

Monday, March 31, 2003

This is a blog about muscles and mistaken identity.

I was in the gymn the other day doing some pullups. After I finished a set, a large fellow approached me and said, "can I ask you a question?" I flashed back to junior high school when large fellows would approach me and say the same thing so I was about to tell him that I didn't have any money on me, when I found myself nodding. He said,"how do you do so many?" Well, I wanted to tell him that it was probably because I weighed 80lbs less than he did, but I humbly shrugged my shoulders and let him answer his own question. "This is the first time I've really done it," he continued, "I guess I should just get used to the motion on the lat pulldown machine?"

"Sure..." I conceded and walked on my way...but, it made me think...of another time.

I was in Oceanside, California last summer with a friend and his family. It was the 4th of July and the marines in that area were out on the prowl. My friend and I entered a hot tub at the Condo unit where we were staying. The occupants of the tub were two intoxicated couples (marines and their women) and an asian guy. As we entered the tub we quickly tried to make friends with the youngsters...The two couples were a little preoccupied and uniterested but the lone asian guy quickly became our friend.

Long after the couples left, the asian guy remained to converse with us. We found out that he had served in the Navy and that he was raised by a Latino family. He was really cool. He then started to ask us questions. After he found out our identities he laughed and said, "By the look of you I thought you were a marine...But, after I heard you speak, I knew that you weren't." I guess marines don't go off on the merits of "the Muppets" all that often.

So how these two experiences are related is beyond me...but they have both taught me a valuable lesson.

And I will treasure that lesson always.

Thursday, March 27, 2003

I really like iTunes, especially its huge array of online radio stations...

Right now I'm listening to www.kcrw.org "streaming innovative and eclectic music 24/7 from Los Angeles" and the particular song I'm listening to sounds like "take a walk on the wildside," only its somehow been fused with a Latin beat and Spanish verse. Instead of the colored girls singing "doot doo doot," someone else sings "lai la lai."

I'm in heaven.

Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Blah blah blah...me me me...I I I. Blah blah blah....pbbbblllllttttttt...

Sunday, March 23, 2003

Do you know that one scene on LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring where Frodo and friends are hiding from a darkrider under a tree and as the darkrider approaches bugs and centipedes start coming out from the ground writhing because of the pure evil of the darkrider?

I've worked graveyard shifts as a security guard at the LDS motion picture studio for almost two years now, and for some reason the exact experience that Frodo and pals underwent seems to keep happening to me...only, I wasn't aware of it until recently.

Last night at about 3 am I noticed ten potato bugs (pillbugs or rolly pollies for those of you from east of the Mississip') crawling this way and that on the floor at the front desk of the studio. Where were they going? Where did they come from? I don't know. But I remembered the movie and guessed that something evil was on its way... I tried to stay still and hide like Frodo and his crew, but I couldn't handle the suspense. So I grabbed a kleenex and squished them one by one. As I looked upon the little crushed corpses it made me start to think...to think of time not too long ago when something similar happened.

Last October, I came in to relieve a guard at midnight. he had just undergone pepper spray training earlier that night and he, apparently, didn't de-tox too well. His eyes were red and puffy and he shuffled like a zombie to his car as I took his place. As I sat in his chair at the front desk, I couldn't help but notice a swarm of flies (swarm=10 or more flies) going this way and that. I guess Eddie (the guard I replaced) was too hammered by the training to notice a swarm of flies...buzzing...and landing on him...and buzzing some more. But aside from the fact that having a swarm of flies that close to a person isn't only obnoxious but unsanitary, (not to mention it also being a harbinger of all that is unholy) I spent the next four hours of my shift swatting them with a newspaper. Only later did I start to realize that something evil was on its way...but, luckily, I changed guard at 4 am and wasn't around to see it.

Lastly, box elder bugs seem to be in the motion picture studio all year round. They are in the hallways, on the walls, on the ceiling. They are everywhere. But I've never seen them in swarms or writhe...so, I guess because they seem to only represent minor evil I just let them be. I can handle a little minor evil now and again.
So there you go. If you ever see a lot of bugs swarming...something evil may be on it's way.
And that something evil might just be ME.

Wednesday, March 19, 2003

Kids are funny.

You can be in a "life" museum full of intriguing dead animals in frightening and striking poses and the children are more interested in pushing a button, which lights up a screen covered in words that they can't even read yet, than in trying to touch the inside of a dead hippo's mouth.

I blame sugared cereals and television.

Friday, March 14, 2003

I can't think straight today. I must've walked back and forth between the Madlab and the protools lab (rooms that are practically right next door to each other) 5 or 6 or 7 or 8 times today.

AND FOR WHAT?

a silly phone book.

I keep taking it, searching through it for crummy info that isn't even there, and then taking it back again.

It's kind of fun though, because I come through the employee door, which can only be opened by an employee door code. The beep-beep-beep sound calls attention to the door and arrouses everybody working in the room's interest. I then enter the room like the famous priveleged employee that I am.
I'm really cool like that.

Oh, did I mention also that I'm hungry, oh, so hungry?

Tuesday, March 11, 2003

it's early in the morning....

I can't sleep.

I can't sleep because I'm thinking of various ways to edit a video, a video that I was somewhat forced to make with little time, non-actors, and no script! (I know what you're thinking, but it's not the latest Star Wars movie or even one based on a comic book). It's my own creation. Highly derivative. Highly "hacky." With realistic moving acting!
But seriously, as far as movies go, I've heard that there's no such thing as bad acting. There's only bad directing. So if my movie is full of corny jokes, crappy dialogue, and an impossible-to-follow plot. It's all my fault. But my ambitions were big, and I think that is what is most important... Exactly what my ambitions were/are, however still remains a mystery.

But, recently I've come to the attention that my movies don't make much sense anyway (hey! just like my life!), and I'm okay with that.
I should've taken my ecclesiastical leader's advice through the ages. I could be on track to becoming an actor/doctor/policeman right now!

Well, since I've taken a different path from acting, doctoring and policing, I think I'll keep making movies. I'm bound to get better with practice and time, right?

If not, don't come crawling to me with your little questions.
The answer is always, "IT'S A METAPHOR!"

Note to self,
Don't write a blog after 12:00 AM ever again.


Monday, March 10, 2003


MARTY
Well, Eileen...jeez, that's hard for me to say. Have you ever been in a
situation where -- well -- you know you have to act a certain way, but
when you get there, you don't know if you can go through with it?

EILEEN
You mean like how you're supposed to act with someone on a first date?

Marty titled his head to the side.

MARTY
Well, sort of....

Eileen nodded, interrupting him.

EILEEN
I think I know exactly what you mean.

MARTY
You do?

Eileen nodded again, slower.

EILEEN
And you know what I do in those situations?

Marty finally looked at her, waiting for the answer.

EILEEN
I don't worry about it!

(BACK TO THE FUTURE Screenplay by Robert Zemeckis & Bob Gale, March 11, 1980)

I wish sometimes that I had Eileen's attitude. Because, well, like Marty, I worry alot in those situations (situations where I'm supposed to act a certain way...).
I'm just glad I don't have to take advantage of my mother when she was my age...because that'd be just plain creepy.

Yah.

Saturday, March 08, 2003

Sometimes I wonder...
if I was a rich politician's son, squandering his fortune living a playboy lifestyle in Italy with a girl who looked remarkably like Gweneth Paltrow, which one of my friends would bludgeon my head with a boat paddle and gradually take over my life.

And then I start to wonder...
if I wasn't a rich politican's son with all that other stuff, which one of my friends would kill me and take over my life...

I don't know. But, sometimes I wonder about that kind of thing and get really scared.

Thursday, March 06, 2003

It's cold outside but out-of-staters seem to think that because it's the month of March Spring is here. Foolish, yet fashionable, boys and girls in short pants and flip flops shiver in the 30 degree wind chill as I walk home warm and cozy in my down coat. I guess that they're just anxious, which is funny considering that this has been such a mild winter. More of a funny "hah-hah" than a funny "hoh-hoh," though.

Monday, March 03, 2003

I'll turn 24 this upcoming Saturday.

I remember being 12 years of age and wanting to meet myself as a twenty-something year-old.

I wondered what I'd be like. How tall I'd be. How strong I'd be. What style of clothing I'd be wearing. Would I have a tattoo? What would my girlfriend look like?
You know...all that important kind of stuff.

Sometimes, I'd like to go back in time and meet up with that little punk. I'd like to slap that kid around and set him straight. "Straighten up and fly right!" I'd tell him (maybe even in musical form). I'd tell him to keep playing the piano, to stay in school, to give up the ganja, to stay away from the ladies, to try out for the school football team, and to learn to read.

Okay...well, forgive me for being hyperbolic. I never had a drug problem. I actually graduated from HS a semester early and got $500 toward college tuition. I've always been reserved around women. Football? Pshaw, I was always more of a soccer kind of guy. And, like most kids in the public school system, I learned to read in 1st grade. So, I guess I wouldn't need to waste valuable time travel time with unnecessary warnings. I would tell him to keep playing the piano though. Man, I regret giving that up.

So then we would have some time together for the important things. I could beat him at Street Fighter 2. Then I'd pass the game only using one quarter.
He and I could then go get a slurpee...or maybe a Jamba juice, wait, it was still called Zuka juice back then...oh, no, those were still the frozen yogurt golden years.
Then as we sat eating our half pints of strawberry frogurt covered with gummi bears, I'd tell him the outcome of some future sporting events. Then I'd return to the future to find that I'd built a large casino and had corrupted my whole hometown. Yah.

But on second thought, I can't manage my life as simple as it is now. And besides, messing around with the space time continuum is never a really a good idea.

Or so it seems.