Sunday, March 23, 2003

Do you know that one scene on LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring where Frodo and friends are hiding from a darkrider under a tree and as the darkrider approaches bugs and centipedes start coming out from the ground writhing because of the pure evil of the darkrider?

I've worked graveyard shifts as a security guard at the LDS motion picture studio for almost two years now, and for some reason the exact experience that Frodo and pals underwent seems to keep happening to me...only, I wasn't aware of it until recently.

Last night at about 3 am I noticed ten potato bugs (pillbugs or rolly pollies for those of you from east of the Mississip') crawling this way and that on the floor at the front desk of the studio. Where were they going? Where did they come from? I don't know. But I remembered the movie and guessed that something evil was on its way... I tried to stay still and hide like Frodo and his crew, but I couldn't handle the suspense. So I grabbed a kleenex and squished them one by one. As I looked upon the little crushed corpses it made me start to think of time not too long ago when something similar happened.

Last October, I came in to relieve a guard at midnight. he had just undergone pepper spray training earlier that night and he, apparently, didn't de-tox too well. His eyes were red and puffy and he shuffled like a zombie to his car as I took his place. As I sat in his chair at the front desk, I couldn't help but notice a swarm of flies (swarm=10 or more flies) going this way and that. I guess Eddie (the guard I replaced) was too hammered by the training to notice a swarm of flies...buzzing...and landing on him...and buzzing some more. But aside from the fact that having a swarm of flies that close to a person isn't only obnoxious but unsanitary, (not to mention it also being a harbinger of all that is unholy) I spent the next four hours of my shift swatting them with a newspaper. Only later did I start to realize that something evil was on its way...but, luckily, I changed guard at 4 am and wasn't around to see it.

Lastly, box elder bugs seem to be in the motion picture studio all year round. They are in the hallways, on the walls, on the ceiling. They are everywhere. But I've never seen them in swarms or, I guess because they seem to only represent minor evil I just let them be. I can handle a little minor evil now and again.
So there you go. If you ever see a lot of bugs swarming...something evil may be on it's way.
And that something evil might just be ME.

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