Tuesday, December 07, 2004

It's amazing that I was able to work construction last summer when I basically have a condition, kindly dubbed by my longtime friend and neighbor, as "the sledgehammer touch." Or even if that's not really my problem, I'm so self-conscious about "doing it right" that I end up mulling over the work and not doing much at all. That's probably why I was sent with the one worker at aforementioned construction company that nobody else could stand...

Last night for FHE, my fine construction skills were put into play as Ali and I set about installing some weatherstripping, of the cushioned-vinyl strip variety, around our poorly insulated front door.
Not only did I have a heck-of-a-time keeping the small nails from bending prematurely before they were securely hammered into the doorframe, but I had to consult the directions on the back of the weatherstripping package numerous times to make sure that I had the bulbed-end of the plastic strip facing the right way. The pictured diagram on the package did little to help my already confused state of mind, considering it didn't even match the directions listed on the back. So for most of the ordeal I would try to emulate the picture, lay the plastic stripping against the door frame, assay the situation and subsequently become utterly confused. Then I'd flip the package around, follow directions, become confused, and then flip again, repeating this process indefinitely.

Finally Ali told me what she thought worked best; I humbly followed and despite a strong draft around the lock mechanism, I think it's definitely an improvment.
.
(We should've gone with the foam!)

Monday, November 22, 2004

It took a little while to get this photo from Geoff, former co-worker at M;4 Inc., but he finally came through. I was a little disappointed in the too-black cheek area, but, hey, dressing up was fun!


Geoff and Me at the Halloween Extravaganza last month! Posted by Hello

Ali was chatting with her sister at the time of this photo, so, alas, we don't get to see her makeup. But it looked pretty good!

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

On Saturday, Ali and I put up insulation in her parent's unfinished basement in exchange for a few debts we owed.



Time flew by as we cut and stapled the pink fiberglass to the framed wall. BYU lost another game. Tom Cruise obtained the long-sought-after NOC list. Several fruit smoothies were consumed. Itchiness of limb and body developed. And, upon completion, an amazing sense of accomplishment, which was both emotionally and spiritually satisfying, was felt by all.

Monday, November 08, 2004

I feel crummy today.

Related songs:
"Blue Monday" by Fats Domino
"Blue Monday" by New Order
"Monday" by Living End

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Ali and I went to a Halloween party on Saturday.

Aside from the fact that we were the only married couple amongst 150 mingling singles, we had ourselves a swell time. We ate our share of the Almond Snickers we brought, drank some delicious A&W Root Beer, and sat around people-watching until the main event began.

Kramer, Ali's sister's friend, prepared an hour long power-point presentation on Satanism, and its practice, in Utah. He read from pioneer journals, showed us actual photos that he had taken, and transitioned seemlessly from story to story. We learned much about the events leading to the changing of U.S. 666 to U.S. 491, a graverobbing pioneer, and Alden Barrett, a Pleasant Grove teen who committed suicide in 1971 and was alleged to be a full-out occultist. I don't know how accurate Kramer's facts and depictions of the said the events were, but, I was certainly impressed at the amount of research and study he put into it.

The only downside of the evening was having to drive an hour back to Provo in the drizzling rain and laboriously remove an inch of makeup from our faces.

Monday, October 18, 2004

Halloween time means Halloween movies!

And my favorite film thus far in the season is Nosferatu: Phantom Der Nacht (1979). A classic re-telling of Bram Stoker's "Dracula," a tribute to F.W. Murnau's Nosferatu (1922), and a thoroughly bizarre and artistic take on vampyres, this film is evocative, hauntingly eerie, bizarre, and brilliant! Klaus Kinski portrays the Count in such an amazing way, his wimpy size is totally eclipsed by his brilliantly intense acting ability. Werner Herzog delivers a beautifully visual masterpiece.

Watch the German language version!

Thursday, October 07, 2004

For those of you who don't know, I'm currently taking classes at UVSC.

The small class size, diverse student population, colorful staff and faculty (you very rarely see a Stetson-ed man riding a lawnmower whilst smoking a pipe at Brigham Young), and the, at times, slight, sinking feeling that I've somehow become a "smart kid" again are all amazing benefits of attending this fine state institution. But the finest benefit of all is the one that is probably most often overlooked...the enormous duck pond.

My love affair with duck ponds began when Ali hurled a moldy wad of two-month-old bread directly at a fat duck in the BYU pond. We fed the dozen ducks residing in that pond a whole loaf of bread not meant for human consumption, and they loved us for it.

The tradition continues amongst the "fighting Wolverines." In the light of the slowly rising sun with two unpalatable dinner biscuits in hand, I slowly trodded out to the serene waters of the UVSC duck pond. I began throwing crumbs to a small congregation of ducks who were soon joined by a throng of brothers and sisters. I was careful to divvy out the crumbs in fair quantities giving the fat white ducks only a quarter of what I was tossing to the smaller-sized mallards. I even enticed several brave ducklings onto shore to pick out crumbs amongst the blades of grass. Long after the biscuits had run out, the ducks continued to throng about my presence, paying homage to a nuturing mother figure who would most likely return again to deliver life-giving sustenance...

As I left the pond, saying goodbye to my new found friends, this age-old adage filled my heart and soul...

"Be kind to your web-footed friends, for a duck may be somebody's mother."

As true today as it was when first written...

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Thursday, September 23, 2004

October is coming.

And with October comes one of the hardest decisions of the year!
Deciding what to be for Halloween!

Top 5 choices for this year:
(not necessarily in this order)
1. One of these guys...
2. Something like this?
3. Stole my idea.
4. Something relating to this guy.
5. Couple costume?

I dunno. What are you gonna be?

Monday, September 13, 2004

Our upstairs neighbors suck.

For the first week of our marriage nobody lived in the apartment above us. We enjoyed the quiet serenity that situation afforded. Then THEY came.

Flash back 3 weeks or so, Sunday morning 3AM.
BAM! Something large was either thrown or dropped on the space of floor right above our bed.
Ali and I awake simultaneously.

(Muffled)
Brooke: "Brian, GET OUT OF HERE! GET OUT OF HERE! DON'T TOUCH ME!"
Brian: "Brooke! (his voice is lower and harder to hear throughout the floor so it kinda sounds like the adults do in Charlie Brown cartoons) BLAH MWa mwa Blah!"
Brooke: "I don't care! I have like 15 to get over and you only have that one guy!"

...and on and on and on in this manner for at least an hour.
After seriously deliberating on whether or not we should phone in a domestic disturbance to the police, Ali and I fall back to sleep.

Flash forward to THE NEXT NIGHT!

I'm awakened by a sound that I can't quite pinpoint. A sound that seems close because our bedroom window is open.
I turn over and Ali is awake.

She asks, "Do you hear that?"
"What? That dog?" I answer.
"I don't think that's a dog," she replies.
Then, it dawns on me. THEY have made up. And for the next 30 minutes we endure CHEAP MOTEL SOUNDS that are worse than the exaggerated ones you hear in movies.

This pattern of fight and make up has continued up until now.

At first this rollercoaster of emotions was kinda fun to experience, like a reality TV soap opera. But as of last night THEIR shenanigans have worn thin on our patience.

Brooke and Brian, if you're reading this, please, please, please, get some counseling or go back to church, or get a divorce. Please just let us sleep. I've got a paintball gun in my closet and I have only slight qualms about letting a coupla rounds go into your yellow Honda accord.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

What's Eating Gilbert Grape?

Director Lasse Hallström gets that point across pretty well in this film that should qualify all for foreign but for the American English-speaking actors. The story, the characters, their sensibilities, and the situations are all a representation of something very Old World. Johnny Depp looking dour and European with long hair as a grocery clerk in the mid-west? Come now.
All I can really say is that I would've enjoyed this film a whole butt-load more if Johnny Depp and Leo Di-crapio were speaking Swedish.

Friday, August 27, 2004

There are some movies that get better the later on in life you watch them...

May I just put on the record that "Edward Scissorhands" is one of those?

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Well, I'm working again.

I wish that I could say I landed a sweet job and am now being employed on the basis of my great college education, but alas, I seem to have my golden boy switch turned to the "off" position in matters of "good" employment. I mean, digging out water meters and replacing #$%^-ups, as they are affectionately referred to by my supervisor, wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I pursued a bachelor's degree in "media arts studies." But, I've had pounded into me quite relentlessly the point that, in this day and age, real-world skills mean much, much more than a crummy liberal arts degree. And I'm getting some skills at that. I can shovel, retrieve tools for my chain-smoking, obscenity-wheeling supervisor, and I've deepened my ability to ponder the mysteries of life as I watch the water leveler tear down the dirt at the foundation of the house. Good thing I have a driver's license though, that gives me a one up on most of the Mexicans who work for the same company, I get to drive the truck everyonce in awhile. If only I could speak Spanish now...

Sunday, June 27, 2004

Good times in Goblin Valley.

I went camping with the scouts in my home ward this week because they couldn't find anyone else to go. After spending two days in good ol' Moab, we traveled to Goblin Valley to hike Little Wildhorse Canyon and then spend some time in the Valley of Goblins.

Whilst playing our final round of "sardines" in the valley, it started to get dark. After 30 minutes of futile searching for the last kid, we finally gave up and shouted to him "Game Over." No answer. Another 15 minutes of shouting pass and we start to get worried. We get flashlights, enlist the help of random hikers, and fearing the worst, begin searching for Johnny's body.

At 10:30PM, the random hikers locate Johnny's slumbering body under a FREAKING rock. I guess that entrada sandstone, dust, the company of scorpions, rattlesnakes and/or an assortment of other creepy crawlies is enough to make any guy in their right mind fall completely asleep.

Back at camp, after a scolding from the scoutmaster and ridicule from the troop, Johnny develops an imaginary bump on his head and randomly begins to exhibit symptoms of Amnesia. I tell the boys that Johnny will probably have no trouble remembering in the morning and command them to bed.

I'm so glad that my teenage days are gone.

Good times.

Friday, June 11, 2004

I'm tired of driving to Provo. I hate the actual drive. I spend 15 minutes going the 2 miles from my house to the freeway on-ramp thanks to some swell city-planning that schedules all of the road work in the entire state of Utah to be done in the month of JUNE. I-15 is a mess from the 106th South onramp until the point of the mountain. Extra big pickup trucks and extra big SUVs followed by extra big Mormon Meat Wagons filled with ONE, that's right, extra big person eating extra big fast food clog up all three lanes of traffic. When not saturated with advertisements the radio blasts out trite crap. A sign above flashes "I-15 SOUTHBOUND CLOSED USE ALT ROUTE," and I think to myself, "alternate route? I wish they'd be a little more specific because the one lane Frontage Road hardly qualifies as an alternate." I turn the heater on full blast even though it's almost 100 degrees farenheit outside and the engine coolant temperature dips a hair. My gas gauge reads empty again and I wonder where I can find gas for under $2. I resist flipping the bird and honking my horn and in 45 minutes, I finally arrive...

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to even have a car and a reason to go to Provo every day. I'm grateful that, once the road is done, it'll be huge and grand and fast and wonderous. I know that it's a means to an end, and I fully endorse and love the end. It's just...9 months of this is starting to wear thin on my patience.
And I'm glad that it will all be over in 2 months.
August 11th, my friends...
Watch your mailboxes...

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Alright, alright, my family is just pretty darn freaking cool.

Can you find my sister in this picture?
She's the only modest one and, yes, she's a cheerleader for the Denver Broncos!

Holy Smokes! Who'd've thunk it?

Sunday, May 16, 2004

My little brother is a popular fella--well, both of them are actually--
but, Jonny is doing quite well upon moving back home after a year at Utah State.

Here is an almost comprehensive list of how popular he his.

1) he already gets the majority of phone calls in this household.
2) people from the home ward randomly take him out for water massages and dinner.
3) he's already got a summer job.
4) he's "trying things out" with one of my sister's "dance friends" after a week of knowing her. ;)
5) he plays football for the Utah Blitz, a semi-pro team.
6) the home ward snatched him up with a calling before he even considered attending the singles ward.
7) all around the world statues crumble for him.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that Jonny's home. I just wish that I saw him every now and again.


Sunday, May 09, 2004

Once again I'm back to my old ways...

I spend the days collecting dog tags or slaying demons, but all I really want is a good job for the summer.

Maybe I should get off my duff and go looking out in the "real" world.

Life can be tough sometimes.

Monday, May 03, 2004

Goldenboy has been dead for a few months now. In fact, I'd like to debate any actuality of his existence entirely.
Long live his arch-nemesis, Captain ”baka
.

Sunday, April 25, 2004

April 23, 2004
As our small raft descended into the hole in the class IV rapid, we paused for a brief moment as the sheer force of the river held us firmly in place, then in a split second the blue rubber was yanked from underneath us and the roaring turbulence sucked us under.

Trying to remember how to coordinate my breathing with the ebb and flow of the rapids, I clutched my paddle firmly and kept my sneakered feet in front of me, the chill of the 50 degree water calmed by the sudden rush of adernaline. Looking behind me, I saw Ali and Elizabeth clutching one another; Spencer and the other girl Alison were nowhere to be seen.

Thankfully, the six hearty rafters that we had seen on shore were waiting in "The Room of Doom" for us. They scooped us up out of the river and kept their smirks and comments to a minimum. After offering us spare paddles and making sure that we were alright, they paddled ahead, beers in hand, to the next rapid.

Casualty Summary:
Spencer lost both of his aqua socks, another pair of sunglasses, and his lucky adventure hat.
Red-headed Alison lost one aqua sock and her disposable water-proof camera (The camera actually came floating back later).
Ryan lost his froofy beanie, and his black hoodie (it happened to be in the water bottle bag that was tied to the boat).
Elizabeth lost her map of the river.

Going to Westwater this early in the spring had its advantages as well as its disadvantages.
Because of the time of year, the water level was high and fast and the rapids were extremely quick and fun. The fast water made the flat water at the beginning and the end of the trip literally fly by. There were no insects to worry about while camping (it rained all night long), and we only got sunburned when the sun finally started to peek through the clouds after we only had a mile 'til takeout.

The main disadvantage was that it was freaking cold. The air temperature was only 7 or 8 degrees warmer farenheit than the water.
But hypothermia aside, it was a spectacular, fabulous trip. Can't wait 'til next year...?

Saturday, April 17, 2004

I quit my job yesterday.

It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. For the first time, ever, I couldn't eat breakfast because I felt so nervous. And when time came to talk with my supervisor, even though I had practiced what I had wanted to say in my head a million times, words came out jumbled and anger-laden. "I'm not very good at...confrontations." Much to my suprise, and dare I say, chagrin, He was sympathetic. My last day is this Tuesday.

I may be spending the rest of the summer flipping burgers at "Mickey-Ds," but at least maybe I'll be getting a stable paycheck and at least my employer won't be committing tax fraud to, quote, "keep their heads about water."

If you, the viewers at home, know of any good leads...hook me up.

Peace.

Thursday, April 08, 2004

I look old.

I went to the rope swings with Patrick last weekend.
There is a new swing and Patrick motioned for me to try it, but since there were a ton of other little kids around I said, "naw, I don't wanna break it."
One girl (who was probably eleven years old) overhearing our conversation said, "Don't worry, lots of other dads have tried it and it didn't break."



Tuesday, March 30, 2004

blog is dead.

Friday, March 26, 2004

Who Do You Want To Be Today
by Oingo Boingo

CHORUS
Who do you want to be today?
Who do you want to be?
Who do you want to be today?
Do you want to be just like someone on T.V.?

Oh boredom is so terrible, it's like a dread disease
Nothing could be worse than when there's nothing on T.V.
I'd rather be a cowboy than to stare blank at the walls
I've been reborn so many times I can't remember them all
(And I say)

CHORUS

Just like someone on T.V.!

I think I'll be a teddy boy, I think I'll be a hunk
I think I'll be a tough guy and I think I'll be a punk
I might just be a fashion star all dressed in frilly rags
Or perhaps I'll cross the other side and walk around in Drag!

CHORUS

Just like somebody on T.V.!

Do you like to be just like a rock in the middle of the sea
Do you want to suffer by yourself in a pool of blissful misery
Do you want to feel like a saint in artists' clothes
With a rosary in your hand
Do you wanna be crazy like Van Gogh like a stranger in a
Strange, strange land

Would you rather push the buttons
And be feared by all humanity
Or perhaps you'd like to be a bum
Do you wanna be stupid, just like me

CHORUS

Just like somebody on T.V.!
Who do you want to be . . . . . .

______________________________________
"To Thine Own Self Be True..."
Or some junk like that.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Going skiing with 12 fourteen-year-old Japanese kids wasn't the wild experience I had envisioned.

Most of the little guys could ski relatively well. I only had to pick up Sho once or twice when he tumbled on the slopes and after his skis fell off four or five times, he got the hang of putting them back on. Even after saying at lunch that he didn't want to go back out, he ended up skiing until it was time to leave.

I was only slightly worried when I saw, from my vantage point on the chairlift, two of the smaller boys enter the halfpipe. They didn't catch any air or spin any tricks but the went on down without crashing or even screaming. Later, I heard them begging their thirty-year-old teacher to come with them to "the fun place." She turned them down saying it was too scary. I could only chuckle.

So, instead of wowing you, my semi-captive audience, with stories of injuries and drama, I conclude by saying that regular application of sunscreen and language study is the only preventative measure against a poor day on the slopes with 12 kids who really know how to ski.

Sunday, March 07, 2004

Things that happened at church today...

I came to the STARK realization that I am a bonifide "student ward snob."

I learned to be wary of people who claim that they're not up on the pulpit to bear a "storimony," because THEY ARE USUALLY BIG FAT LIARS!

I became so that I started to flinch at people brandishing the word "engagement" like a trophy or a banner. Man, don't they know that they're proving all of the stereotypes so shamelessly portrayed in such schlock as "The Single's Ward" to be true?

I learned that preparing a lesson half-heartedly only gets you a half-hearted response when you teach it. Sigh, I'm the laziest jerk this side of the "Mississip."

I just have to keep telling myself that I have no room to judge while I just sit there on the pew of complacency...



Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Wow, it must be haircut season.

My hair was the longest it had ever been in my life so I decided it was time for a trim. After considering going to "Bikini Cuts" for a brief second, I found myself reading an old Time magazine in the waiting area of Super Cuts. Now this was probably the right decision because I'm guessing that the girls at Bikini Cuts weren't exactly hired for their haircutting ability...but I digress.

For those of us who don't have a regular barber, getting a haircut is always a lottery of sorts. Whichever lady (or guy) is available to give you a haircut at the time you come in is YOUR barber for the visit. I got a nice Chinese lady this time who looked less than thrilled to be cutting my scraggily hair.

She bid me to the chair.
I sat.
She asked me what I wanted.
I said, "shorter."
She said, "clipper length?"
I said, "sure?"

..and she got to work.

After my glorious long hair lay on the floor around me, she got suddenly talkative...

"You should get your haircut more often. (Talking to other employee)
Do you remember him when he came in? (Talking back to me) You look so much bettah now."

Well, I look a few years younger and few pounds lighter now, and just in time for my birthday too.
And I owe it all to that nice Chinese lady...

Xie xie, Nu. Xie xie.

Thursday, February 19, 2004

Man, I hate being sick.

I can usually handle a 2 or 3 day illness episode but this 2 week deal has got to stop. Almost as if to add insult to injury, just when I felt like I was getting better I get hit with a sinus infection. CURSES!

Maybe I shouldn't have overdone it the other night playing DDR with Patrick.

Shoot.

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

The top ten reasons Mexico was great.

1) I didn't get sunburned...

2) I ate a lot of good food, drank a lot of pina coladas...(non-alcoholic, of course)...(included in my hotel price!) and didn't get sick.

3) It was seventy-five freakin' degrees farenheit!

4) I saw a bull fight.

5) Snorkeling.

6) Matt used the phrase, "scratchy von-trapp."

7) I saw a gecko stalk and then gobble up a moth.

8) I visited a place where they filmed parts of the "Predator," and then swam in a waterfall.

9) Matt, Candice, and Jon were there.

10) Having the phrase, "booze cruise" called out to you at all hours of the day.


Monday, February 02, 2004

Well, this is it kiddies.

I'm off to Mexico. Puerto Vallarta, to be exact.
Yup, it's 5 days in the tropical playground that is commonly refered to as Mexico. Snorkeling, swimming, sunburning...
Matt, Candice, and Jon will all be there so it should be "driking, dancing, good times...sometimes we party all night."

I hope I don't get Montezuma's revenge.

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

Today at work...

Me: Okay, you have to choose.
Geoff: I choose "chicken leg," because it seems like I could do a lot more with a chicken leg...like scratch about and grab stuff, whereas a pig's leg...
Me: Okay, but, I didn't mean a chicken's leg, I meant, you actually have a chicken for a leg or a pig for a leg.
Geoff: Now, what?
Me: Like, your leg is actually a chicken...er, I guess I meant your foot.
Geoff: Oh. Pig then.

(Brady laughs in the distance)

Friday, January 23, 2004

I saw an abnormal semi last night and it brought to mind a very serious question. If you shout "perididdle" when you see a car with one headlight, what do you shout when you see a diesel with only one?

Weighty matters on the mind...

Friday, January 16, 2004

Every time I think of you
I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine
But it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind
But there's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of the fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
well every day my confusion grows

Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You say the words that I can't say

I feel fine and I feel good
I'm feeling like I never should
Whenever I get this way
I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be

CHORUS

Bizarre Love Triangle by NEW ORDER

Okay, okay, so I'm on a severe 80s kick. (But when am I not?). But this song is just very, very cool. I dont' know quite know how to describe my recent severe attachment it.

Also, there's nothing to do at work, so I'm learning how to do THIS.

Also, also, in my process of scouring the Internet, I found THIS, which is pretty cool, but not as cool as THIS!

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

Looking at pictures of people SCUBA diving in Hawaii all day long, my desires to be a National Geographic Oceanographer have been rekindled. Too bad live in a land-locked mountainous state and don't know how to take photographs, or how to SCUBA dive. It's also unfortunate that I get crispy after 15 minutes of exposure to UV rays.

Maybe in my next life...

Sunday, January 11, 2004

DEPECHE MODE lyrics - "But Not Tonight"

Oh God it's raining
But I'm not complaining
It's filling me up with new life
The stars in the sky
Bring tears to my eyes
They're lighting my way tonight

And I haven't felt so alive
In years

Just for a day
On a day like today
I'll get away from this constant debauchery
The wind in my hair
Makes me so aware
How good it is to live tonight

And I haven't felt so alive
In years

The moon
Is shining in the sky
Reminding me
Of so many other nights
But they're not like tonight

. . .

And I haven't felt so alive
In years

The moon
Is shining in the sky
Reminding me
Of so many other nights
When my eyes had been so red
I'd been mistaken for dead
But not tonight


I discovered this song at work and really like it.
That's all.
The End.

Thursday, January 01, 2004




Okay, so, I finally figured out how to post pictures here. (Sorta)

On the left is the alleged 18 foot tall snowman that Candice, Matt, Jon, Patrick, my Dad, and I built over the Christmas break. (The photo is slightly anamorphic, sorry)

On the right is young Patrick about to catch some air on the SNO-RAY. (yes, my dad built it!)


Enjoy. :)