I'm losing weight.
At least, that's what Ali and my mom keep telling me.
But in all honesty I'm the same 165 lbs I've been since 1998. Really.
But, I like to make two very important ladies in my life happy so I'm embarking on a campaign to appease them.
As of Wednesday, I decided to embark on a mission to become the fattest man alive.
Good-bye, healthy choices.
Hello, deep-fat fryer.
Okay, not really, but, wouldn't you like to see that on TV?
Join us for 4 contestants throwing caution to the wind and eating whatever and whenever they want, all battling it out to become Fattest Human Alive!. "We're gonna need a crane to move this season's winner!"
But I digress...
I've simply decided to start eating an energy bar in addition to what I already eat every day. You see, I'm hoping that this extra calorie boost will start putting a little meat on my bones. Then my loved ones will notice and stop commenting on the imagined weight that I'm losing. If not, at least I can save my empty wrappers for proof.
It's pathetic, I know. And energy bars are nasty, but, so far I've taste-tested the following before heading over to Costco for bulk-commitment.
Payday energy bar = bland
Clif Bar (Almond Fudge sumthin') = sweet enough, but the aftermath is a little
Power Bar Natural = nutty and crunchy...almost in excess.
Kashi bar = good texture but this particular variety tasted like Coffee.
Mojo bar = pending
Snicker's Marathon = pending